


Come Over. Bring Cupcakes.

by frackin_sweet



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Haruno Sakura-centric, No Strings, Then leave, What-If, but he's not marriage material, but she deserves one who'll bang her a lot, i may get hate for this, if anyone reads it, konohamaru got the best longbottoming in the narutoverse, make coffee, rollin with no beta, sakura don't need no man, sasuke's okay and all, shit that went down in the time of Lord Sixth, sometimes i think really bad ideas are really good ones, support single moms, there's more and it's porn, unmarried Sakura, until she texts him again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-12-26 00:34:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18272216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frackin_sweet/pseuds/frackin_sweet
Summary: Sakura Haruno is a hard-working single mom who puts up with a lot of shit, so who can blame her for going out and having a little bit of fun once in awhile?- or -Konoha's rumor mill works overtime, and Ino is in charge of that- or -this is going to get out of hand very quickly





	1. Chapter 1

She was in Suna. And she was dreaming. Possibly she was dreaming that she was in Suna, at some deadly dull diplomatic reception, talking to some 400-year-old functionary and drinking a glassful of...well, sand. 

Sakura swallowed experimentally, with very little success due to the sand, which was dry and patently unswallowable. She groaned and tried again, hoping she didn’t frighten her ancient dinner companion by sounding like the undead. _Was_ she dead? 

Her head was pounding, and as she tried to lift it, she realized that maybe she wished she was. Gradually her other senses came online. Mouth: impossibly dry. Pain sensors: all activated and screaming. Vision: blurry, but enough to show her that she was now awake, face down on her bed. Smell: was that a distillery? No, that was her.

“Sakura-chan! Hey, open up! I’m here to deliver your daughter back to you like the amazing babysitter I am, ya know!”

Hearing: working, much too well. 

“Mama? Get up, mama!” That was Sarada’s sweet little voice.

Oh, god. Sarada, being brought back home by Naruto, who had let Sarada spend the night with his kids while Sakura, Hinata, and Ino went out for a girls’ night.

“Na...Naruto - “ Sakura croaked, and the sound of her own voice made a temple gong of pain resound in her head. She hauled herself half out of bed and to the open window.

On the steps leading up to her front door, Naruto stood with Sarada on his shoulders as she hung onto hunks of his blond hair. “Mama! Come let us in!”

“Be right down!” she turned too quickly, and as her hungover coordination failed to keep pace with intention she tripped back over the bed, catching a long tail of blue fabric with her foot as she fell. 

“Ugh, shit.” She untangled her foot and lay down again. Everything hurt. The light hurt. Her skin hurt. 

Her fingers twined around something soft. Blue fabric, something knitted and narrow and long. Cautiously she brought it close to her face and she caught a whiff of scent - something a little woodsy, a little smoky...kind of nice, actually. Masculine.

Oh.

_No._

Sakura threw the scarf away from her with a force that would have sent it through the wall if it had any heft to it. As it was, it floated accusingly down over a chair in the corner. Her head whipped around...it was proof of how drunk she’d been that she could literally sense ZERO chakra in an entire shinobi village, including some of the most powerful in the world right downstairs on her own doorstep. As for her room, it was empty. No evidence that someone had been in the bed with her. At least there was that small mercy.

“SAKURA-CHAAAAN! TODAY WOULD BE GOOD!”

“I’m coming!” Sakura gritted her teeth as she got to her feet and grabbed a bathrobe, wrapping it around her rumpled dress from the previous night. She headed down the hall, hugging the wall to keep from tipping over.

She opened her front door and was immediately assaulted by sunlight bright enough to make her flinch and whimper.

“Mama! We were waiting SO long!” Sarada accused, flushed and squirming with outrage as Naruto lifted her down from his shoulders.

He eyed Sakura. “Oho, Sakura-chan. Rough night?” He smirked. “Hinata didn’t look nearly that bad this morning.”

“Hinata never looks bad, Naruto,” Sakura croaked. She cleared her throat and tried again. “But to be fair, I think she left before that round of shots.”

Irritatingly, Naruto’s smile grew. “Who was buying you shots?”

 

Sakura nudged Sarada into the hallway behind her. “Nobody was buying me shots. It was Kunoichi Drink Free night at the bar, okay?”

“Ha! If that was a thing the bar would go out of business.” Naruto shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to me, anyhow, long as you had a good time.” 

“I did. Thank you.” It was a good time if you had no memory of it, right? “Thank you for keeping Sarada for me.”

Naruto gave her a little salute. “No problem, She and Boruto had fun, when they weren’t fighting.” He leaned around her. “Bye, Sarada-chan! Be nice to your mama today, she’s not feeling well!” 

His yell nearly knocked her off her feet with another wave of pain garnished by a dollop of nausea. She carefully and quietly closed the door behind him and put a hand over her eyes. Today was going to be all levels of hell. 

“Mama, I’m thirsty.”

She searched the fridge for fruit juice - it looked like she was going to have to go to the market later today, on top of feeling like garbage - and managed to find enough for both of them. After a few sips, she felt slightly steadier. 

Still no memory of the previous night’s events, however. Not beyond the beginning of karaoke, and disagreeing with Ino about what song to choose. 

“Mama?” She looked down to see Sarada’s worried dark eyes peering up at her over the top of her cup. “What’s wrong? Oniisan said you weren’t feeling good.”

She reached down and adjusted her daughter’s glasses. “Just a little headache, Sarada. I’ll feel better soon, I promise.” Her fingers brushed against a sticky clot of something behind Sarada’s ear. “Ugh, child, you have jelly in your hair. Go get undressed and I’ll run you a bath.” 

“It’s Boruto’s fault!” Sarada chattered away, her little voice still telling her tale of woe and strawberry jelly as she ran down the hall to her room.

Sakura paused, juice bottle in hand, as a note on the counter near the back door caught her eye. 

It was tucked underneath her house key. She swallowed hard, and slid the folded piece of paper towards herself. Another piece sliding shakily into the puzzle that was the previous evening’s activities.

The handwriting was legible, if a bit messy. _Sakura-san. You may not remember, but you were pretty drunk last night so I brought you home and helped you to bed._

Yeah, I figured that much out, Sakura thought. Any details that may have immediately followed the helping-to-bed part were missing. She didn’t feel like she’d gotten laid. Her underwear was even still in place. She continued reading.

_I hope you don’t feel too terrible - drink lots of water today._

Well. That was considerate. Her anxiety level ratcheted down a little bit.

_Had fun at the bar. Call me if you ever want to hang out again._

__

__

_K._

A phone number was scrawled below the initial, but she couldn’t read it because her entire brain started screaming. K???? Who the hell was K???

Kiba didn’t hang out at the karaoke bar, so he was out. Kurenai did, but she went out even more rarely than Sakura did and the idea of her toting a drunken Sakura home on her back was...not likely.

She’d had that dream about Suna....Kankuro? No, he hadn’t visited Konoha for some time, and while she was reasonably fond of him, they didn’t have that kind of friendship.

Kakashi? Sakura choked on the sip of juice she’d just taken. The idea of him helping her home after a drunken evening was not totally unbelievable. But the tone of the note was all wrong. Kakashi would do anything for her, she knew, but he’d maintain a professional distance, and he’d probably then force her to come sort his giant backlog of paperwork as payback, as he’d done to Naruto in a similar situation. So, her old sensei was also out.

“Mama?” Sarada was back in the kitchen, barefoot and stripped down to her t-shirt. “Whose is this?”

She held out the long blue scarf that had been in Sakura’s bedroom. 

K. 

“Oh, shit.”

“Mama, don’t swear!”

She was going to swallow her pride and call Ino to beg for the details later. Right after she swore her to secrecy. Konohagakure was at heart still a small town, and people liked to gossip.

 

*

 

Konohamaru didn’t think there was anything unusual about the summons to the Hokage’s office. 

But when he got there and was ushered in to see not only Kakashi, but Naruto, both of them looking stern, the situation became suddenly clear.

“Listen, before you start in on me, I did not do anything with Sakura-san last Saturday.”

Kakashi’s expression didn’t change. “What makes you think this is about Sakura?”

Naruto, on the other hand, practically exploded. “Everyone said you were pretty cozy with her at the bar that night! And that she was drunk, and left with you!” 

Kakashi looked put-upon. “Naruto, we talked about this before -”

“Well, if everyone says so, why even ask me?” Konohamaru shot back. “Did you ask her? Because she would have told you I took her home, made sure she was okay and left, you jackass!” He took a step forward, and Naruto did the same, and then in less than an eyeblink Kakashi was between the two of them.

“I suppose it would be too much to ask you both to act like adults? Right, what was I thinking.” Kakashi gave Naruto a little push. “You, go sit over there.” The hand that was holding the collar of Konohamaru’s vest released it. “You, over on the other side.”

Konohamaru sat on the edge of the chair and addressed Kakashi, since he seemed more interested in listening to reason. “Obviously you know I have no bad intentions towards Sakura-san. She’s an esteemed colleague, and I have deep respect for her. I only wanted to make sure she got home all right.” He glared at Naruto. “Anybody who says differently can kiss my ass.”

Naruto looked murderous. “You were in her bedroom!”

“Where she sleeps! All I did was put her on the bed, took off her shoes, and --”

“So something did happen! I’m gonna --”

This time Kakashi put Naruto in a headlock. “Naruto. He’s right. It’s her business, and obviously he treated her with friendly courtesy and respect.” His gaze flicked over to Konohamaru. “And took no advantage of her whatsoever, of course.”

“Of course I didn’t!”

Kakashi released Naruto once more and shoved him back towards his chair. Some sort of unspoken communication passed between them, until Naruto grunted and crossed his arms over his chest.

Kakashi smiled, or at least it looked like he did. “So, you don’t have any sort of romantic intentions towards Sakura, then.”

“What? No!”

An eyebrow went up. “Rumor has it that there was a note. Perhaps asking to see her again. Which would suggest some sort of intentions.”

“Intentions of deep respect, perhaps,” Naruto chimed in.

Okay, this was insane. “Listen. I understand. You’re both very protective. She’s your former student and your unrequited crush - ” he directed this second one at Naruto with as much sarcasm as he could muster - “I get it. But it’s pretty shitty to have both of you think I’d ever hurt her. I wouldn’t. I’ve known her since I was a kid. She’s a comrade-in-arms, and a friend. So give me a break.”

Kakashi stared at him for a long time, and then gave a little nod. “See, I told you, “ he said to Naruto. “Now tell him what you, rather precipitously, did.”

Naruto squirms a little. “I may have…sent a message. To Sasuke.”

“Hold up. You know as well as I do that Sasuke and Sakura aren’t together in that sense. They’re co-parenting a child. It doesn’t have any bearing on who either of them…” dates was the wrong word for defusing the situation, he was sure…”sees socially, or whatever. Everybody knows Sakura didn’t want to get married, even after she got pregnant.”

“Yeah, well, he wanted to marry her. She said no.”

Konohamaru rolled his eyes. “Wanting to do the noble thing isn’t the same as actually wanting to marry someone, idiot.” He loved Naruto like a brother, always would, but the guy was still _so far up Sasuke’s ass_. “Anyhow, it’s a moot point. She and I hung out, drank and had some laughs at karaoke. We didn’t sleep together. We didn’t even kiss. So thanks for thinking the worst of me, and then completely overreacting.”

To his credit, Naruto looked a little abashed. “Well. Fine. I’m....I’m sorry.”

“And?” Kakashi prompted from his post leaning against his desk.

“And...it’s none of my business anyway.”

Kakashi’s eyes curved in the familiar arches of a smile. “There. Good talk.” He took Naruto by the arm and steered him to the office door. “Don’t forget, you’re buying me lunch tomorrow.”

He closed the door on the resulting protests and turned to Konohamaru. “Just so you know, I sent an operative to intercept Naruto’s message to Sasuke.” 

“Okay...thank you?”

All traces of the Hokage’s earlier smile were gone again. “Thank me by not letting me hear a single word of any of this again.” He leaned closer, his tone conversational. “Sakura can take care of herself, but whatever happens...if you cause her any pain, no one will ever find your body.” The electric lights flickered. “Do you understand?”

Konohamaru swallowed. “Yes, Lord Hokage.”

“Good, I knew you would.” The smiling eyes were back. “And drop the ‘Lord’... I hate all that honorific nonsense.”

*

Konohamaru avoided the karaoke bar for the next month, even though it meant missing all the cheapest drink specials in town, and Ebisu’s birthday party.

 

*

“Why did you have to tell everyone?”

“Calm down. I didn’t tell everyone.” Ino didn’t look up at Sakura as she replied, just shrugged and continued arranging a vase of delicate orchids. “Don’t be mad at me because probably fifty people saw you leave with the guy. You were singing. It wasn’t exactly stealthy.”

Sakura sighed and handed the shears across the corner to her friend. “Fine. I know. But the last thing I needed was Naruto getting in my face about it. When did he turn into my big brother?”

Ino smiled. “When he decided he wasn’t in love with you anymore. If you ask me, you came out of that deal rather well.”

“I question your definition of ‘well’.” Sakura picked up one of the discarded orchids that had already started to wilt on its slender stem. “I left the village with a man I thought I loved and figured out that I didn’t when it turned out I was having his kid. Not exactly the makings of an epic romantic tale.”

Ino swept flower clippings off the counter into the bin with an efficient gesture and dusted off her hands. “Oh, stop moping. You have a beautiful, brilliant daughter, a great career, and freedom to do what you want.” She gave Sakura a significant look. “And what do you do? Squander a great opportunity for no-strings sex and then hide for a month like a nun.”

“No-strings sex with...with Konohamaru, Sakura whispered. “That’s just weird.”

“No, it would be weird if you had him do his sexy jutsu form before you slept with him,” Ino countered. “Although, totally fine if that’s what you’re into.” She untied her apron and came from behind the counter. “I’m going to walk you back to work, you’re already late.”

They shared fries from a cart on the walk to the hospital. “It _is_ weird,” Sakura mumbled around a mouthful of crispy potato.

“Not at all. I mean, yeah, he was a scrawny, funny-looking kid, but that was a long time ago. He’s leveled up. A _lot_.”

Sakura looked sideways at Ino, not wanting to seem too interested in this opinion, because she secretly shared it. “You think so?”

“Um, I may be happily married, but I’m not dead. A little taller than average, good build, pretty blue eyes. Nice smile. Kind of sweet. A gentleman, even. And we’re not even considering that he’s Sarutobi clan head. I’d say you could do a lot worse if you wanted one of those friends-with-benefits things.” Ino licked salt off her fingers and smirked a little. “And trust me, he’d be up for it. I can tell.”

Friends-with-benefits. No-strings sex with... _Konohamaru_. Sakura felt herself blush. 

“And you’re really up for it. Look at you, you’re thinking about it right now, aren’t you?” Ino’s laughter ricocheted off the sparkling glass of the hospital’s front entrance. “Do yourself a favor. He gave you his number - call him.” Ino reached over and swiped a bit of sauce of Sakura’s cheek with her thumb. “Stop worrying about people finding out. If you can’t handle keeping your sex life out of the public eye then they should cancel your jounin registration.”

A couple of days later Ino called Sakura at work with “special intel”.

“So, I took the liberty of checking your boytoy’s references.”

“My boytoy...he’s not...what?” Sakura turned to the technician who had been waiting to consult with her. “I’ll just be a moment.” She walked down the hospital corridor, letting a couple of orderlies with a gurney pass safely by before putting the phone to her ear again. “Please tell me you didn’t.”

Ino gave a gusty sigh. “Of course, that was what I was afraid of, you haven’t even called him yet. Well, anyway...if you were waiting to find out something about his talents in the bedroom - which I know you weren’t because you’re you - then you’re about to get some good news.”

“Oh my god. Ino, we have a couple of injured jounin due any minute and the trauma unit is short-staffed today.” Sakura rested her forehead in her hand. She really just wanted this conversation to end. And yet....if Ino had gone to all that trouble to do some recon on Konohamaru...the least she could do was listen. “Well, are you going to tell me or what?”

“You just said you have inbound casualties, and I’m sure you need to -“

“FOR PITY’S SAKE, INO!” A passing nurse gave a loud squeak of shock at Sakura’s yell. Sakura glared at her and ducked into the break room. “I have two minutes. Talk fast.”

Ino chuckled richly for several precious seconds. “Okay, so. I did a little digging. His old teammates are pretty tight-lipped, but that’s to be expected. The redhead blushed worst than you do while insisting she’s never slept with him but then got all up in my face with her ‘who wants to know?’ so clearly there’s some history there, I’ll find out eventually - Glasses is the weak link, so I’ll apply some pressure with him and see what I get.”

Ino really should have pursued a career with T&I, Sakura thought. "Okay. Go on."

“Kurenai-sensei knew his first serious girlfriend, and I realized it’s someone who comes into the flower shop so I made small talk...she was more than willing to dish. Said he popped her cherry, and she didn’t know any better at the time, but that in retrospect he was a good lay - maybe had prematurity problems at first, but he always made sure to take care of her. She gave me the details on his next girlfriend...that one was an ANBU, and I guess they got pretty freaky, and when the two of them hooked up with one of HER friends, he had no trouble keeping up. Some details, let’s see...apparently a person can’t keep a henge going through orgasm, who knew? His dick curves to the left, _that_ was interesting information -”

“Get on with it, Ino!”

“Goodness, one would think you’d be more grateful. Anyhow, lots of praise for his oral skills - hallelujah, right? Has no problems with period sex. Likes to talk afterward rather than just falling asleep, which could be good or bad...that was from Hinata -”

“Hinata?” Sakura almost dropped her phone. “Are you saying they -”

“No, no! Don’t be ridiculous, Forehead. Konohamaru and Hanabi dated for awhile. They’re still friends, and Hanabi told Hinata all about it. He’s ambidextrous. He’ll try just about anything...there was apparently some Sarutobi ancestral armor that was involved in that particular story. Oh, and he likes to not be the one in charge, some of the time...there might be some sensei/student roleplay in your future, is what I’m trying to say -”

“Haruno Sakura to the Trauma Unit, Haruno Sakura…” the blaring of the hospital intercom speaker interrupted Ino’s report. 

“Okay, Ino, I get it. Thanks for asking around for me - please feel free to never do that again. I gotta go.” Sakura dropped her phone in the pocket of her lab coat as she walked into the hallway and was almost run over by a nurse. 

“Haruno-san, there you are! Intake just received an entire team with injuries from a training field accident.”

She nodded sharply, banishing all thoughts of armor and henges and any type of leftward-curving anything. “Thanks, I heard. I’ve got this one.” She grabbed the offered clipboard and headed for Exam Room 4

*

Konohamaru was holding a blood-soaked gauze pack to his face when the physician on call came into the exam room. “Told the field medic I was fine,” he started, but the gauze slipped and Sakura was suddenly looking down at him. Her eyes widened, then she cleared her throat and gave her attention to the clipboard in her hand.

“Possible head injury, it says here. Doesn’t sound so fine to me.” She pulled a penlight out of her lab coat and shined it into one of his eyes, then the other. “Pupils are both reacting normally, so that’s a good sign. Any dizziness?”

“No. I was only unconscious for a minute, maybe.” He winced as she probed the still-bleeding wound just above his hairline.

“I need you to stay still.” Sakura’s voice was professional as she ran through a few more questions. “Your team leader said you were hit with some kind of shrapnel?” She snapped on a pair of exam gloves.

“Exploding tag in a hollow tree. Tried to dodge.”

“Didn’t try hard enough, apparently. This might sting.” 

He felt a chilly little stab of pain as she dabbed at the cuts with antiseptic. “I’m going to have to go after a few pieces that have lodged under the skin, but this is mostly superficial. Lie back, please.”

He did as he was told and found himself looking at her upside down, leaning over him with some very long tweezers. “Those look...ominous.”

Her lips quirked up on one side. “Well, in just a second you won’t be able to see them, so take comfort in that. Turn to your left.”

For some reason she flushed as she said it, then cleared her throat loudly before pulling a sterile mask over her face. She worked with careful efficiency, picking bloody splinters out of his cuts and dropping them into a metal basin. 

After a few especially uncomfortable moments she held up a larger shard. “There, that’s the last of them.”

“Thank the gods. I was about to make some very unmanly noises.”

The mask still hid half her face, but her eyes curved upward. “Trust me, I’ve heard it all.”

“Naruto’s a crier, isn’t he? Tell the truth.” He felt the warmth of her gloved fingers moving over his skin.

“I can’t violate patient confidentiality, of course.” Now the smile was wide enough to see even with the mask.

“Ha, that’s a yes.”

A knock at the door interrupted any further answer. Sakura got up to answer it, and a startled nurse looked back and forth from him lying on the table, to her, and back to him again. “Haruno-san. My apologies for interrupting...I’ll leave you with the patient.”

“I’m almost finished. I’ll be sending this one down for a CT scan in just a few minutes, please wait outside.” She gave the nurse a bit of a shove and closed the door in her avid, interested face. 

Sakura was muttering as she turned away from the door, something about “sure, because that’s what I’m doing in here, making out with a guy who needs a head x-ray...fucking gossips…”

Then she sank down onto a rolling stool with a sigh and pulled her mask down to hang around her neck.

 _So she’s been thinking about making out with me? Or did someone else come in with a head injury?_ Konohamaru pushed himself up on his elbows. “What is it?”

“Just another person who’s running off to feed the rumor mill.” She gave him a rueful look. “You haven’t heard about that? How apparently you and I are...you know.” She made a complicated yet vague hand gesture at this point, and then suddenly blushed again.

“You mean...” Konohamaru repeated the gesture as well as he could. “We’re flicking bugs off a log? Eating noodles with our hands?”

“Very funny!” Sakura yanked off the sterile blue gloves with a loud snap and threw them in the bin. “Half the Leaf thinks I brought you home and had my way with you that one night!”

“Then half the Leaf is a bunch of morons. Including Naruto and your old Sensei, who gave me a nice lecture about my intentions.”

“They did not.”

“Well, Naruto did. And then the Hokage threatened my life a little.”

“Are you kidding me? I’m going to threaten the shit out of their lives.” Sakura said, standing up abruptly. “That’s not fair, and it’s not even the worst of it because now Ino has been interrogating your exes and I’m so sorry. I never even thanked you for taking me home, which was kind and gentlemanly, and I really appreciated it, and also, I have your scarf. Am I babbling? I think I’m babbling. Oh, my god, I will murder all of them.” 

“Sakura, it’s okay, really.”

“It’s not okay.” She stopped and took a deep breath. “And I should have called you. I wanted to. Because I had fun. A lot of fun. And we should totally hang out again.”

Now his head was really starting to hurt, which sucked, because he was pretty sure this was where he was supposed to make some cool suggestion of what they could do and all he could come up with were the things he wanted most at the moment. Beer. And bed. Both of which could happily include Sakura, but...maybe that might be moving a little too fast.

“We should. I want to, too...this weekend, maybe?”

“Yes! If your CT scan is clear and you’re feeling better. Just...I will text you, okay? I promise.” She grabbed the clipboard, scribbled something on it and threw open the exam room door. “Nurse? Take this patient down to radiology, please.”

It turned out the other jounin waiting for treatment needed several stitches. It kept Sakura busy until her next break, at which point she decided a nice brisk walk across the village was in order.

“Sakura! It’s good to see you, but I have to point out that you don’t have an appointment with the Hokage -”

“Don’t give me good to see you, Shizune. Let me in there, I know he’s not busy. You just brought him tea.”

Sakura pushed past Shizune on her way into Kakashi’s office. Unsurprisingly, he was at his desk, with his feet up, scrolling through his phone. “Sakura! This is a nice surprise, but in a few minutes -”

“In a few minutes Shikamaru is probably going to come in here with some made-up meeting you have to go to? Save that excuse for someone who doesn’t know you so well.” Sakura stomped right up to the desk and leaned forward on her hands, shifting a tall stack of papers ever closer to the edge. “You do realize that who I spend time with is none of your business?”

Kakashi shifted so he could move the stack with his foot before setting down the phone. “If I was a more argumentative sort of person, I could make the point that as Hokage, how all of the shinobi and the village at large spend their time is more or less my business? For, you know. The purposes of everyone’s well-being.”

Sakura snorted so vehemently that several papers flew off the nearest stack. “My well-being is going to be a lot more on the well side if you don’t meddle in my personal life!”

“Maaa, watch it, that’s my completed pile.” Kakashi watched as the papers floated towards the open windows. Then he let his feet hit the floor with a thud before going to retrieve them. “All right. Let’s cut to the chase before you completely bugger up my organizational system.” One eyebrow went up. “I’ll assume this is about your relationship with Konohamaru.”

She drew up closer to him and was gratified to see him clench his papers a bit. “Again, it is totally inappropriate for you, as my former sensei and current commander-in-chief of all the shinobi in Konoha, to involve yourself in my personal life. Second -”

“You actually didn’t say first.”

“Don’t change the subject! Second, I do not have a relationship with Konohamaru for you or anyone else to be having opinions on!”

“You know, that’s what he said as well, although it was along with a lot of nice things about his respect and regard for you, right before he said he didn’t intend to pursue anything along the lines of an actual relationship. But then, apparently he was lying, because here you are yelling at me about it -”

“I’m not yelling!”

“My mistake. Due to the fact that we’re right now having a discussion about it, I can only deduce that you and he are indeed seeing each other in some capacity.” Kakashi leaned towards her “Right?”

“If seeing each other means he came into the hospital with injuries during my shift and I picked shrapnel out of his head for an hour, then yes, you are right. Congratulations.”

Kakashi’s expression sobered a bit at this. “Yes, I did hear about the accident this afternoon. They hadn’t yet confirmed who was injured.”

Sakura sighed. Maybe she should let him off the hook. People skills weren’t exactly his thing. “I’m sure you’ll get the report from the hospital within the hour. They’re all going to be okay. Injuries relatively superficial.”

“Who was it?”

The Academy team preparing the new set of trials for the Chuunin exams. Let’s just say someone needs a refresher course in barrier formation.”

“Noted. It’s an unfortunate consequence of peacetime - everyone’s battlefield skills suffer.” Kakashi made a show of rearranging his stacks of paper before speaking again. “Sakura.”

Arms crossed, she moved over to make more space for one of his stacks. “Hmm?”

“You’re right, I shouldn’t involve myself in your personal life, as Hokage or as your former sensei. Will you accept my apology?”

She finally looked up at him. Even after some years, it still seemed odd to look at his face and see two perfectly normal dark eyes looking back at her. “Of course, Kakashi. I’m sorry I barged in here and yelled at you.”

“Oh, that? It was actually kind of nice. All the Lord-ing and bowing makes me want to jump out the window sometimes.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “Please don’t blame me for feeling protective of you. You could be a little old lady with great-grandchildren and I’d still feel that way.”

Before she could form a proper response, he turned back to the desk and tapped one of the top papers. “This is the enrollment list for the incoming Academy class. I assume I’ll see you at the open house next week?”

“Oh, yes, we’ll be there! I forgot the Hokage gives the welcoming speech.”

Kakashi slumped back into his chair. “There’s a speech? I may have forgotten that too. All this ceremonial crap is going to kill me.”

Sakura waved off his complaint as she moved towards the door. “Don’t worry. Shizune always used to write Tsunade-sama’s, I’m sure she’ll write yours too.”

She didn’t quite have the heart to tell him that people only came to the Academy open house for the cupcakes.

And dammit if she wasn’t going to keep the rest of what happened from here on out a _complete secret_.

_\--to be continued..._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's some casual sex because Sakura deserves it.

Konohamaru told himself it didn’t really matter that Sakura didn’t call or text about the weekend, especially when he heard she’d had to work double shifts during an outbreak of food poisoning that resulted in the temporary shutdown of half the food stalls in the market. He kept himself busy with preparations for the upcoming Academy Open House.

Sarada would be there, and presumably Sakura and her whole family, so he’d perhaps chat with her then and if not, well. It was time to maybe stop fantasizing about her and him being even a casual thing. Not that he really had been. Much. 

The evening of the open house was warm and fragrant with blooming plants and about a hundred different flavors of perfume. Sakura looked proper in a simple, dark red dress, with her hair in a loose knot at the back of her neck. She nudged her daughter ahead of her as she turned to talk to her father, and - “Oh! Konohamaru-sensei, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to run into you like that!”

Konohamaru let her steady herself on his arm… _did her thumb like, stroke my wrist, just now? Did I fucking imagine that?_ He forced a pleasant,neutral expression on his face, because _hello those are her parents, don’t be a fucking dick_...“Please, don’t worry about it, Sakura-san. It’s good to see you and your family here with a new student.” He smiled down at the solemn little girl at Sakura’s side, who had the incredibly rare Uchiha crow’s wing hair and ink-black eyes. “Welcome, Sarada.”

She also had all of the famous Uchiha self-possession. Pushing her child-sized glasses up with one finger, she intoned “Thank you, Sensei,” without a smile.

“Sarada, let’s not keep Sensei from his duties. The speeches are about to start.” Sakura started to steer her family away towards the rows of chairs. “Perhaps we’ll talk with him later.”

And then she turned and winked.

About a minute into the Hokage’s speech, Konohamaru felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Surreptitiously, he pulled it out to look.

_Want to bet on how long it takes Kakashi to get rid of his note cards?_

He looked up to where Sakura was sitting with her arm on the back of Sarada’s chair. Without turning, she held out four fingers before reaching up to play with a lock of hair.

Ugh, was she trying to kill him? He typed a quick reply. _He’s already ad libbing. I say 2._

The little … indicated that she was replying, and then he read _nope. 4. The cards have pictures on them._

He chuckled, and when a woman in the back row gave him a dirty look he directed his attention to the Hokage again. No way was Kakashi even going to give a speech for four minutes, much less stick to his notes for that long. _2 minutes and you meet me for a drink if I win._

_Ok, but what if I win??_

He thought for a minute, then typed _you still meet me for a drink but I bring you red velvet cupcakes from the open house_. Those damn cupcakes were all anyone cared about at this thing anyhow.

The … stayed for a long time, and then there was this: _think i just won_.

He looked at the time. She was right. _Cupcakes and a drink, then_ , he replied.  
…  
…

Kakashi was winding up his speech with some inexplicable dog analogy, and Konohamaru realized he’d tossed the note cards. Of course.  
…  
…  
_My parents are keeping Sarada tonight. Want to come to my place?_

He swallowed. Fuck. Yes. He misspelled his reply four times before he managed _I’d love to :)_

_I don’t like red velvet :P bring lemon instead_

Before the speeches ended he sent a shadow clone to acquire several of the lemon cupcakes. 

Sometimes being a shinobi was very worthwhile.

*  
Socializing after the open house and the subsequent dinner with her parents seemed to last forever, which meant of course it had to be followed by about a hundred pictures for the various family albums. "Dad! I realize you just got a new camera, but this is ridiculous!"

"Nonsense! We only ever see you take pictures of your daughter on that phone of yours. You need something more permanent!" Her father finished adjusting the timer settings. "And surely her father will want something to mark the day, as well."

"Which is why I take pictures on my phone, Dad, so I can send them to Sasuke. He has lots of pictures of her." _Flash!_ Great, another one where all of their eyes would be closed.

"Oh, fine, we realize you're in a hurry to go home, put on a bathrobe and watch old movies," her mother grumbled. "Sarada, one more of you with your mama, and then we'll get her out of our hair."

Sakura did pull out her phone for that one so that she and Sarada could wink and make peace signs, and smiled at the cute result. Sasuke would like that, probably. He had commented once on how serious Sarada always looked.

 _She looks just like you_ , Sakura had responded. He had gone quiet after that.

"Mama, can I let baa-chan paint my nails? She said she would after my bath." Sarada said.

"You can let her put you in full makeup if you want, sweetheart. Baa loves a good girl's night." Sakura grinned at her mother.

Mebuki rolled her eyes. "Sarada, it's not my fault your mama hates fun...she didn't get that from me."

Sarada gave Sakura a kiss on the cheek and then ran off without a backwards glance. "Her love is for sale, and clearly you want it," Sakura told her mother, giving her a peck on the check as well. "Make sure she brushes her teeth after all that candy dad's going to give her."

 _I like fun as much as anyone_ , Sakura thought on the walk home. And at that, it occurred to her that she had no idea when, or if, Konohamaru would be showing up. She pulled out her phone.

 _Finally done at the proud gparents_ she texted. _On my way home. You still up for tonight?_

The almost immediate reply of _DEFINITELY_ was gratifying, to say the least. _Be over in a half hour or so, need to change_.

Ah, a good thought - what to wear for this...thing...that they were about to do.

As good as the heels made her legs look, Sakura was not in the least unhappy to kick them off at the door, because those shoes were basically expensive sexy murder.

After that, she was a bit unsure. Opening the door in a fancy robe and skimpy underthings seemed like overkill. As much as she thought she might regret it later, she texted Ino.

_Konohamaru's coming over, what do I wear?_

As she spent a few minutes contemplating some things in her closet, the reply arrived. _Really nice underwear, obv._

Sakura checked under her dress - okay, at least that was a nice bra, and it matched her underpants. Or, it didn't exactly match, but they were the same color, and there was a lacy situation involved. That was possibly as good as it was going to get. _Got it. What else?_

 _Your dress tonight was wasn't bad but totally a mom dress_. Sakura smoothed the front of it. It wasn't bad? Just because it wasn't short or low cut or skin-tight...why did this have to be complicated? She pulled it off and tossed it away.

It gave her a chance to give herself a good once-over in the mirror, and be happy with what she saw. Having a child had changed her body forever, but she still felt strong and fit. And even better than that...comfortable in her skin. Pleased, she posed a couple of times before snapping a photo in the mirror and sending it to Ino. _Byebye mom dress!!_ she typed, and added some kissyface emojis for emphasis.

Something felt very empowering about sending it to Ino, after years of rivalry and adolescent mean-girl body shaming. Sakura lifted a little black tank dress off a hanger in her closet and shimmied into it. Too much? Not for the club, maybe, but it felt like overkill in her own home. Ino would have notes, certainly. She picked up her phone again to send another pic.

_..._

...

 _O M G that's amazing i just fell over the curb and smashed the fcukin cupcaeks_

Sakura gasped and dropped the phone on her bed.

...  
...  
_omg_  
*several fire emojis*  
_srsly you looked gorgeous in that dress i couldn't think straight tonite_  
_but wow_  
_WOW_  
_i'm sitting on the sidewalk right now trying not to have a heart attack_  
_BUT WOW_

Sakura's stomach flipped over four or five times as she picked up her phone. Because of course, the saucy underwear selfie she'd meant to send to Ino had gone to Konohamaru.

_I didn't mean to -_  
_That was supposed to go to -_  
_Haha surprise!!!_

She typed and then quickly deleted all of these potential replies and fell face-first on the bed. That was it, she may as well just die. Or see if maybe Orochimaru was willing to take her; she could help with Karin’s research. Or maybe turn evil and re-form the Akatsuki? Because that was the only way she'd live this down, become a criminal missing-nin. Criminals probably did stuff like this all the time and gave no fucks about it. Plus they wore very conservative long robes.

Finally, she pulled the phone out from under herself. _I was messing around taking pics, but I didn't mean to send that. Sorry!!_ Oh sure, that sounded believable. She rolled onto her back and pulled a pillow over her face. 

She considered ignoring the knock on the door, but realized it wasn't the adult way to deal with things. So she rolled off the bed, threw on a t-shirt and sweatpants and trudged downstairs.

She was going to be blushing for the next month anyhow, so she didn't bother to try to compose herself before opening the door. "Hi?" she said weakly.

“Hi.” To his credit, Konohamaru looked a little chastened. "So...if you didn't mean to send that...I don't want to make you feel weird." He ducked his head a little so he could look past her hair. "Or weirder, as the case may be?" He held out a slightly crushed box. "Maybe I should just give you these and go?"

She sighed and waved him inside. Adulting. This is what it was. "No, that's silly. Please come in." She let him hand her the box. "Wow, you weren't kidding about these."

He toed off his sandals and left them by the door. "Nope. I tripped, dropped the box, then kind of fell on it. In front of an elderly couple, who were kind enough to ask me if I hurt myself." 

Sakura led him into the kitchen. It gave her an excuse not to look at him for a minute or two. She got out a bottle of shochu she'd been saving for a special occasion (because what's more special than an unintentional underwear selfie?) and filled two glasses with ice before pouring a generous amount in both. 

She offered him one. "Did you?"

"Just my pride, obviously. But if I understand you correctly, I'm not the only embarrassed person in the room right now." He put the glass down and pulled out his phone. He unlocked the screen before handing it to her. "Here, go ahead and delete that picture. I don't want you to feel weird or worry about it."

She took the phone, opened the text and looked at the little photo of herself - cheeky grin above a lot of pale skin framed by silky scraps of black fabric - for a moment before deleting it. "Thank you. And I'm so sorry. That had to have shocked you a little."

He smiled as she handed him back the phone. "It was a good kind of shock, if that makes sense."

"I never do stuff like that. I mean...I do, I guess. I was going to send it to Ino, since she was criticizing my wardrobe choices. But that's different."

"I get it. No need to explain." 

They both took large swallows of their drinks in silence. So far, the evening was off to a fantastic start. 

"So, um...you liked it? The picture, I mean." Ugh, why did she just ask that? Sakura mentally rolled her eyes at herself. 

"Are you being serious? Is this a test?" Konohamaru looked at her over the rim of his glass. "I feel like this is a test."

She laughed, finally relaxing a little. "It's not a test. It would make me feel a little bit better to know that you liked it. If...if you did, that is."

"Okay. Well. To be totally honest, I loved it. I've been looking forward to seeing you ever since before the open house, and to know I was coming over here and spend time with you and THEN getting a hot picture of you in your underwear...do you want me to be specific?" He wrinkled his nose. "I want to be specific, but I don't want to be...I don't know. _That_ guy."

Seeing him struggle made her feel slightly better. Some of that might have been the shochu, but still. "What guy is that?"

"The kind who's just into you for what you look like. In your underwear. Which is..." he raised his glass. "Fantastic, for the record. But not the most important thing to me."

"Is it a little important?"

"It's not...unimportant?"

"So you're a little bit that guy, maybe?"

"Maybe. A little bit." He held up both hands. "But not in any sort of way that expects sex from you at any time, just because you sent me an accidental picture of your...self."

"Oh." Sakura considered this. "That's good. I mean, that you don't expect it." She snorted. "Because apparently I'm the least fun person in Konoha, according to Ino."

He laughed. "What does she know?"

"Well, that I don't have enough sexy clothes, for one thing.” Sakura plucked at her t-shirt and rolled her eyes, realizing she could have at least thrown on something cute. Oh well. “But I do let her get away with talking a lot of shit, since we've known each other forever." Sakura noticed both of their glasses were almost empty. She picked up the bottle. "Refill?"

"Please." 

She poured. "And then my mother thinks all I do when she babysits for me is lie on the couch in sweats watching old movies, so there's that."

"Well, you are in sweats..." 

"With cute underwear underneath, though!" 

"Yeah, well..." his lip curled a little, and he looked down. Was he actually _blushing_? "Your mother probably doesn't need to know that part."

"No, she does not. And at this point we've spent enough time standing around my kitchen talking about it." She grabbed his hand and, as an afterthought, the injured cupcake box. "Bring the bottle."

In the living room she settled herself on the couch and opened the box as he arranged their drinks on the coffee table. One of the cupcakes was mostly intact, and she scooped up a fingerful of icing. "I was waiting all day for these, you have no idea."

"I do, actually, since four people nearly mugged me when they saw me leaving with the box." He poked at the cupcakes with a frown. "Here I was excited to see you, and all you wanted was cupcakes."

"To be fair, I was also excited to take my shoes off." Sakura broke off some actual cake with her icing this time. He raised an eyebrow at her and she stuck out her foot. "High heels are the worst."

He reached over. "Well, here, if it's really true that you had Ino talk to all my former girlfriends, you know I give an awesome foot massage. Let me show you."

Sakura let him take hold of her foot, about to tell him that was not among the things she’d heard, when his thumb slid firmly up the arch of her foot. "That's… _oohh_."

The smug look on his face deserved some sort of tart reprimand but she literally couldn't think straight. She sighed as he repeated the motion and let herself relax against the arm of the couch. When he paused, she made an indistinct noise of protest and flapped a hand at him.

He laughed. "Does that mean stop?"

She whined, unable to form an answer for the moment. She poked him in the thigh with the toes of her other foot, hard.

"Hey!" He gave the offending foot a little squeeze before putting it down on the couch and returning to the first one. "Same question, need an answer."

She made an effort to focus. "It doesn't mean stop. It means go. Go harder." Her back arched as he dug his knuckle in right under the ball of her foot. "Oh _god_. Just like that."

"I like your enthusiasm, but damn." He took a quick few swallows of his drink before resuming. "Warn a guy if you're gonna sound like...like that."

"Consider yourself warned. I may sound like that the entire time you're touching my feet."

He took a deep breath and moved her foot carefully to a different part of his lap "Okay, then."

When Sakura could think more clearly she realized she hadn't really looked straight at him since he'd come in the door, and took the opportunity to do just that. He'd changed out of his uniform into a black v-neck t-shirt - wow, okay, nice clavicle, you didn't usually get a chance to appreciate that on typically-paranoid shinobi. And gray pants with a close fit, really soft...somehow he was also basically wearing sweats, and yet he looked really well-put-together and great. And had apparently showered, the tips of his dark hair were still spiky and damp. She inhaled...there it was, the same scent that had lingered on his scarf.

"You smell really good."

She saw a flush rise in the back of his neck. "Thanks. It's...Kurenai got it for me. She said it reminded her of something Asuma used to wear, and she thought it might smell good on me."

Sakura moved so she could rest the sole of her other foot against his thigh. "She was right...oh! I remember, actually...Kurenai brought an old bottle of cologne to Ino and asked her if she could pick out the different notes from it - she said she wanted to find something similar."

He smiled. "Yeah, she still gives me gifts on my birthday, since I don’t have much family. It's nice. Although now she tells me they're from Mirai...like an eleven-year-old is going to buy me presents." He looks at her sidelong. "So you and Ino are pretty tight, huh?"

"Yes, for better or worse. She's my best friend. Suffice it to say I let her get away with a lot." Suddenly she remembered something. "Hey, I'm sorry she tracked down all your exes like that. I think she thought she was doing me a favor.”

He shrugged and switched to her other foot. “S’okay. Friends do stuff like that for each other sometimes, right?” A little gleam came into his eyes. “So what did she find out? What’d she tell you?”

“Oh, not much, really…”

“Tell me!”

“I’d be violating their privacy!”

“What the...they violated _my_ privacy!” He changed his grip on her foot, and suddenly she couldn’t move it. “You do realize you’re in a little bit of a vulnerable position right now?”

She felt the edge of a fingernail trace up the the sole of her foot and clenched her teeth on a sound. She was trapped. She tried to smile calmly. “I’m not ticklish, but nice try.”

It was such a nice try that he tried it again, and this time her entire body shuddered. So much for an attempt at resistance. 

As he tickled her harder she shrieked and bucked halfway off the couch. “Armor! Sarutobi armor! The sexy jutsu and and an ANBU threesome! YOU’RE REALLY GOOD AT ORAL! Oh, please stop, STOP!”

He stopped, but he was grinning. “Believe me, that’s not what anybody ever said about that.”

She heaved in big gulps of air and didn’t answer. She flailed with one arm, and he handed her her drink.

“Please don’t ever do that again.”

To his credit, he looked a little contrite. “I apologize, that was kind of mean. You okay?”

She huffed a breath of air to blow her bangs out of her eyes. “It’d be nicer if you did something that made me beg you to keep going instead of stop.” _Whoa. Keep it in your pants, Sakura_.

But Konohamaru just lifted an eyebrow. “You mean something like, this, right?” His thumb moved slowly and firmly up the bottom of her foot. 

It felt good. “Better. Yeah.”

He gave her foot a few more firm strokes before sliding the warm palm of his hand up the back of her calf. “Or this? Just beg me to stop, if you want that,” he said with a sly smile.

She stretched, enjoying the sensation of her calf muscles, tight from a night in heels, being kneaded gently. “No begging. You can keep doing that, though.”

She hummed appreciatively as he worked his way back down to her foot for a few strokes, and then back up her calf again, pushing her sweatpants out of the way to touch her skin. 

She saw him bite the inside of his cheek. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just…” he hooked a thumb under the elastic cuff of her sweats. “If you want a good massage, these are in the way.”

 _Is there a point where I actually know what’s going to happen next?_ Sakura wondered. It’s not like they were dating...she wasn’t even sure she wanted to date Konohamaru. They were friends. She’d like that to remain the case. And the flirty, tentative will we or won’t we vibe was kind of fun, but it was also kind of stressful. At some point, Sakura just wanted to _know_.

She took a deep breath and extricated her legs from his lap to stand up. His face immediately took on an expression somewhere between confusion and immediate apology, which turned rapidly into something else as she lowered the sweatpants and kicked them off.

“I agree,” she said, feeling the tremor that threatened to make her voice crack. “They are in the way.”

It was a little bit fun to watch him battle with himself...what to do next, nostrils flaring as his breathing visibly sped up. Suddenly she could smile and embrace the minute trembling that rippled through her thighs, her belly, her shoulders. It was lust, plain and simple, and now she knew exactly what to do next.

“You can rub my feet another time.” She peeled the t-shirt off slowly, watching him the whole time. “Right now I want to have sex with you.” His eyes widened, and she smiled. “That something you want, too?”

“Yeah.” It came out low and gravelly, and he cleared his throat. “Wow. Do we have to skip the foreplay, though?” 

She put a hand on his shoulder before carefully settling herself over him, her legs spread to bracket his clothed thighs with her bare ones. “Oh, we’re just skipping the foot massage. Not the foreplay.”

She leaned in to kiss him. His mouth moved against hers and she felt the heat of breath before he pulled back. Fingers gentle, he smoothed her hair behind her ear before dipping his head to kiss her shoulder. “Good to know,” he whispered, before sliding a hand behind her head to pull her forward and kiss her hard. She wound her arms around his neck and kissed back, reveling in the feeling of his tongue inside her mouth, tangling with hers.

His hands moved down her back to latch onto her hips, pulling her closer, harder into his lap. She made a little noise as the edge of a tooth sank into her lip. He backed off just slightly. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She wiggled a little bit, fitting herself against him, and his erection snugged neatly against her crotch. “I’m not.”

His head tipped back a little bit to look at her, so she moved her hips slowly, letting him feel the heat of her even through the layers of their clothes. He watched her face, thumbing her lower lip, and then trailed his hand down her neck. His thumb, damp with saliva, circled the hollow of her collarbone, then dipped lower. 

Her nipple tightened almost painfully as his fingertips grazed it, right over the silky, thin fabric of her bra. He _mmmmh_ -ed a little bit as her nipple hardened and he stroked it again, gaze flicking upward to her face to watch her reaction.

She was mesmerized by his light, careful touch. Even the thin fabric of her bra was keeping her from feeling all she wanted to, so she reached back to unhook it, then let the straps slip down her shoulders. 

He sucked in a deep breath before helping slide the straps down her arms. As she felt herself being fully exposed, Sakura surged forward to kiss him again. Sloppier this time, tonguing deep into each other’s mouths, desperate and fierce. 

She felt him pulling at her shoulders and leaned back with a gasp as a string of their saliva hit her in the chin. “What?”

She shifted against his erection again and he groaned. “Just...let me look, just for a minute.” His thumbs grazed the skin along the insides of her arms, raising goosebumps. 

Sakura shifted and the movement trapped her wrists in the loose, trailing straps of her bra, pushing her tits together. She bit her lip in a split-second of worry about how they looked - they had more mass and fullness than when she was younger, pre-Sarada - but still she didn’t imagine they were anything to write home about. Normally she didn’t give it a second thought anymore, but right now…

Konohamaru’s gaze lingered on them. It took a long time for him to look her in the eye again but when he did he obliterated her doubt, sliding his hands up to cup her, thumbs trailing rough over her nipples. It felt so fucking good she moaned, arching into his hands.

When he thrust up against her, the movement was easy, slick against her most sensitive flesh. She must be wet right through her underwear, she realized. They needed their clothes off, and right now. 

She reached down to tug at his shirt. “Get this off.”

“Wha? Oh.” He looked hazily at her, and then just lifted his arms so she could pull his shirt over his head. Oh, god, it was amazing, the heat of his bare skin against hers. Perfect, even, if not nearly enough.

“We can go upstairs,” she suggested. He leaned forward to kiss her again, tongue deep in her mouth even as he anchored her body in place with an arm around her waist. 

She grabbed onto his shoulders because as he lurched up unsteadily he banged into the coffee table. Sakura heard the shochu bottle clatter alarmingly and they both flailed a little, her reaching to grab for it while he attempted to keep his balance and not drop her.

“Fuck! Sorry - did it break?”

“No...got it!” Sakura set the bottle upright again. She kissed the side of his face, the edge of his mouth. God, he was so cute, messy-haired and clumsy and worried about spilling the bottle. “I can walk, though.” She tried to unwind her legs.

He grabbed it and to hold her in place. “What? No, I got you.” 

“You nearly dropped me!” she poked him in the chest, joking. “What kind of ninja are you?”

She gasped at the suddenness of his next movement, because before she could blink, they were in her bedroom.

She could feel Konohamaru’s smirk as he nuzzled her neck. “A good one,” he said, and dropped her backwards onto the bed. 

“Okay, I give you points for creative shunshin usage,” she agreed.

Now she needed to be naked. She lifted her hips, hooking her fingers under the band of her underpants when he hissed “ _god_ , wait, you’re so wet...let me - “ and went to his knees at the side of her bed.

Sakura’s hands twisted in the comforter as he pressed his face against the soaked fabric of her panties. He breathed her scent, and she felt a wash of warmth as he exhaled against her clothed sex. Her hips jerked upward. Was he literally trying to kill her?

“Oh, god, you smell good, you - “ Konohamaru interrupted himself to seal his lips over her and bathe the crotch of her panties in saliva - “you _taste_ so fucking good -” 

She mewled, arching against him, and he peeled the edge of soaked panties aside, parting her pussy lips with his fingers before licking her. 

“Oh, _god_ yes, _fuck_ yes,” she rasped, her voice shattered. 

She spread her legs wide apart to give him more access and he lifted up to strip the panties off her in one swift motion. She reached for him, twitching, and instead of going back down on her he covered her with his body, mouth hot and open on hers.

But he didn’t stay there long. She felt his lips travel down her throat, and his tongue dip into the hollow of her collarbone. Then lower, until finally his nose bumped against her nipple. He lipped it softly, then sucked it into his mouth, pressing the hard bud of it gently against his teeth with his tongue.

Sakura hissed, so he did it again, then pressed her breasts together with his hands so he could get to both nipples at the same time. She squirmed and bucked underneath him, until he freed her and started lower. Saliva cooled on the skin of her ribs, then her belly as he made slow progress downward.

He looked up at her and smiled as he nudged her knees outward. Once again she felt his breath first, hot on the inside of her thigh. Then his nose, tracing the outline of her, nudging her folds apart, and his tongue, dipping inside to taste.

“Oh,” she breathed. She wasn’t going to let him stop this time.

Her whole body came alight as he worked on her, slowly at first, circles around her most sensitive knot of flesh, never quite grazing it directly. Occasionally he would stop and lift his head a little bit, and she would beg him to keep going. A couple of times she simply grabbed his hair and put him back where she wanted him. 

He accepted this with a contented little noise before licking the entire length of her. It was a little too much and it made her twitch away. He gave one try at holding her in place, but when she brought a knee up in protest he backed off.

From then on he used her movement and sounds to guide him. She lifted her hips up and moaned his name to get him to keep going, or pulled back if something was too much. More frequently, nothing was too much. His tongue worked her, firm and steady now, back and forth, over and over and over so rhythmically the bed rocked with the movement and she could feel liquid warmth spreading, his saliva and her juices together soaking the sheets underneath her.

“Konohamaru -” Her voice cracked as said his name, and her hands fisted in the sheets. “You’re...gonna make me come.”

Everything vibrated as he groaned against her, and he reached up to let her grab one hand as he slid two fingers of the other just barely inside her body.

“Yeah, do that, do that _now_ ,” she replied to his unspoken question, and was rewarded with the feeling of his fingers curving in as deep as they would go. He moved carefully, rubbing inside her rather than thrusting, enough to make wet noises in the quiet room.

It was almost, _almost_ enough by itself, but not quite. Panting, her whole body shaking, Sakura lifted her head and caught his eyes. “Use your mouth too,” she practically sobbed.

He bent his head and did, the strokes of his tongue matching the the movements of his fingers. Sakura heaved in a couple of deep breaths and then her whole body arched with the force of her orgasm. The muscles in her arm corded as she squeezed his hand and her body clenched down on his fingers over and over.

She wasn’t sure at what point he had slowed down or stopped altogether, but when she came back to herself he was smiling at her, his fingers making wet marks on her thighs.

“Fuck,” she gasped. 

His eyebrows raised and he wiped the back of one hand across his mouth. “Was that good?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Was that agonized moaning sound me, or someone else?”

He moved to lean on one elbow next to her. “Eh, you were really pretty quiet.” He traced a pattern on her skin. “I can probably do better.”

“Well, I’ll give you a chance, then,” she replied, reaching down to pull at his pants. “How are you still dressed?”

He squirmed around to work on getting them off, and swore as his boxers got stuck on his hard-on. “I wasn’t really focusing on myself, okay?”

“Aww, poor thing,” she purred, well-pleased but not sated. He managed to get his clothes the rest of the way off and she reached for him, stroking lightly, then very gently running her nails down the side of his length. 

He hissed and grabbed her fingers, then froze. “Shit.”

“What?”

He looked down at himself and made a face. “I didn’t bring anything. Condoms.”

Sakura made a shocked face. “Well, I see the shinobi safe-sex campaign we’ve been trying to put in place is failing miserably.”

He put his hands over his face. “I’m an idiot.”

“Did you not assume you were going to get laid tonight?”

“I...well...I mean...no? I didn’t want to just assume - ” 

She was clearly going to have to handle this situation. “Your STD panel was negative at your last physical. Maybe it’s unethical, but I checked.”

Konohamaru was nodding enthusiastically. “No, it’s not unethical, it’s good! I’m glad you checked!”

“And I ran the full panel at my last exam, too. I’m clean, you’re clean, and I have an implant.” She guided his fingers to the tiny oblong bump in her arm. 

“That’s all I needed to hear.” He finally yanked his pants all the way off and came down hard on top of her.

She could taste herself on his lips, salty with sweat and arousal and the unique flavor of intimate flesh. She wrapped her arms around him and made him struggle to fit himself between her legs again, until she felt the blunt pressure of his head against her opening. She was so wet that with a slight tilt of the hips, he was deep inside her.

He groaned and gave several full, hard thrusts before stopping abruptly. “Does that hurt? My brain totally went haywire for a second.”

Here was a guy who would willingly delete her naughty pics off his phone, offer to leave if she was uncomfortable, didn’t assume he was getting laid when she invited him over (never mind that carrying condoms should be a given), and was worried about hurting her with his dick. It was like the sweetest combination of considerate and slightly dopey ever.

“If you don’t keep hurting me _exactly like that_ I’m going to have to get up and kick your ass across the room. Understand?”

He grinned at her. “Completely.” Then he grasped her hips hard and did as she’d told him.

Sakura usually couldn’t reach orgasm on her back but he had a _really_ good angle, and it hit her almost before she knew it. “Oh, fuck,” she gasped. “Don’t stop.”

He didn’t, pistoning all the way out and then back into her as her muscles spasmed around him. She was still feeling the aftershocks of climax when he pushed hard into her, his groin tight against her ass, and held himself there, fingers digging into her flesh hard enough to bruise.

Afterward he held himself on one elbow, leaning forward to rest his forehead against hers. “Wow. Is it weird that I think I might’ve pulled something?”

“Well, considering that you’re in your early twenties, extremely fit, and we just had regular, missionary-position sex, it might be a little weird.” She ran her hands up his sweaty back and smiled to herself. “You could ask the nearest medical professional to examine you, I suppose.”

Eyes closed, he smiled. “I’m gonna ignore the fact that you said we had regular sex in favor of imagining that scenario.”

“Regular doesn’t mean bad!” She smacked him on the arm. “And I thought you’d outgrown all your pervier tendencies!”

He grabbed her hand before she could hit him again. “Hey, you’re the one who suggested it!”

She tilted her head to look at him. “Does it make you feel any better if I tell you it was the best regular sex I’ve had in a long time?”

“Ehh, not really.” 

She leaned forward to kiss him. “Well, we could always give it another try.”

She’d been expecting perhaps a cute pout, or some fake complaining, but instead he rolled off her and out of the bed. He didn’t bother to grab the sheets or cover up with anything, so she took the opportunity to give him a good once-over.

Wow, it really did curve a little to the left. 

Before she could say anything, he disappeared, and she sat upright. “What the hell?” Was she going to have to tell Ino to add “fucks and runs” to his sexual dossier? Would he really leave naked like that?

Had she pissed him off? Was it...was it not good for him? All of a sudden, Sakura felt chilled and uneasy. Maybe casual sex was really not a good idea for her.

“Eep!” she squealed in shock as he appeared next to her again, this time holding the forgotten box of cupcakes and a couple of bottles of water. 

He handed them to her. “Here.”

“Wha...what’s this for?” Not that it was unwelcome. She _was_ thirsty and a little peckish.

“Because you’re going to need to replenish your energy.” He smiled, eyes glittering with threat and promise. “Before I fuck the word regular out of your vocabulary.”

She fell into an exhausted, contented sleep much, much later with crumbs mashed into her sheets and frosting smeared all over her thighs.

_...the end_

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this after a discussion with Hato about how Sakura really got a raw deal, married to a guy who never comes around and then won't fucking bang her when he does. 
> 
> I mean. Not on my watch. So of course the idea of Sakura and Konohamaru drunkboning was born. Nothing against Sasusaku or Konohana or whatever your favorite flavor may be. It probably isn't this! But Happy Birthday Sakura, anyhow! <3
> 
> The rest is written, just cleaning it up (heh, not really!) before posting. 
> 
> Anyhoo, if you made it this far, thank you for reading! Let me know if you like it so far, or if you want to complain about it, just, you know. Be kind, please. /o\


End file.
